When you’re in space, no one can hear you “ISS” yourself

There are personal and practical reasons why I dislike the title of this film, so if my review comes off as mean, please don’t take it to mean that I disliked the film. I’m also being forced to type this review with my laptop opened at an acute angle with the risk of the screen being crushed if the top of it gets caught on something when the guy in front of me stretches his legs. I’m not complaining. Maybe I am.

Right. On to business. I don’t dislike the film ISS, but I’m not going to waste time trying to convince myself that I particularly liked it either. The core story is fine, the acting and performances were decent, and the cinematography wasn’t half bad. I think my lack of interest in this film stems from the fact that I’ve seen a lot of space movies, and this one really just doesn’t stick out from the pack.

To demonstrate my point, the following list of films came to mind while watching ISS: The Cloverfield Paradox, Alien: Romulus, Apollo 13, Gravity, Moonraker, and that Brad Pitt movie where he goes to Saturn or something. Each of the above films takes place in space, with or without gravity. Each film carries with it something unique, in the form of its cinematography, its story, its soundtrack, or genre. In all cases, there’s a thrill, a fear of something inside or outside the walls of the space station/ship, with one or both of the aforementioned dangers sitting in as a metaphor for some social or political commentary.

In the case of ISS, we get a very hand-wavy, wishy-washy excuse of “hey remember when the Cold War? Well it just got hot down there”, and using that as a parallel and catalyst for the drama amongst the Russian and American astronauts. The tension and political commentary are about as surface level as a 10^th grader the first time learning about the Cuban Missile Crisis.

I feel like there was a collective ‘meh’ response when the film released, after which it was promptly forgotten. I understand that now, having seen the film. It’s best suited, ironically, for an airplane journey. I don’t think there was much I missed when I sacrificed sound and visual quality at 30,000 feet in the air. I’d rate this film a

YMMV

because there’s no reason to dislike ISS, unless you count the fact that if you lean back your chair as an economy passenger on a Virgin Airlines airplane, you’re effectively laying directly on top of the person behind you. Like. Smothering the guy.

I saw the film at a 75 degree angle, 5 inches from my face on an airplane. If you need to pass the time, you wouldn’t regret streaming it on AppleTV or FuboTV.