In my review for Indiana Jones: The Dial of Destiny, I delved into my realization that what I thought was dumb, my father though was excellent. This realization began in my review for the Twilight movies, where I admitted that those movies weren’t made to be for everyone. They were made to appeal to the group of people who wanted to see a female-centric character-insert fantasy. They didn’t give a shit that the special effects sucked, and that the baseball/thunder sequence was goofy. Ever since I switched my ratings from 1-10 to this current method, I’ve felt far more comfortable than ever in how I review movies. Here’s how it works:
The Good
These are movies that are undoubtably, unarguably excellent movies. There are few to no flaws in their writing, acting, cinematography, and appeal. These are movies that know what they are, who they’re for, and are solid demonstrations of either fundamental or innovative filmmaking. These are the rare films that very few people could hold a legitimate argument against. These are movies that I know are technically sound, and, just as importantly, appeal to audiences specific and/or wide. This could be a movie like Skinamarink, which very, very few people liked, but did its job very, very well. It could also be a movie like Battleship, which was really fucking stupid, but was very fucking entertaining.
The Bad
These are films that are poor in most, if not all, aspects. These are movies that hold little to no merit and would very likely not at all appeal to even their most ideal audiences. Bad movies are films that would fail viewers who were looking forward to seeing the movie, or viewers that it was intended for. For example, say, Kung Fu Panda 4.
Compared to the first three, this film was atrocious. It was a blatant merchandising cash-grab that completely diluted the brand and cast aside its talented (but expensive) supporting cast. Most of us hated it. I’m sure 5 year olds loved the fart jokes, but christ almighty, do you really want to show your kids this crap? On purpose?
The YMMV
which means ‘Your Mileage May Vary’,
which is slang for ‘this is going to do different things for different people’,
which means the following:
YMMV movies are films that hold a significant amount of merit in one or many elements of basic filmmaking. The film is unique in its cinematography, its script, its story, its themes, its message, its uniqueness, its acting, or really good at some other thing they’d teach you in film school. If it’s not one of the above, then it, at the very least, succeeds at entertaining or otherwise appealing to its intended, targeted audience. And, arguably, this is really important.
I believe that the ’audience appeal’ factor is extremely important because the point of a movie is to teach or entertain. If a children’s movie teaches the audience the lesson that ‘maybe you do bad things for good reasons’, that is in fact a terrible movie for children. If an action film only has one action sequence, and they’re boring and not at all interesting, that movie failed at action- and I guarantee you, it also failed at everything else. In that sense, if the filmmakers are unable to craft a piece of art that is unable to appeal to its intended audience- and in turn wouldn’t appeal to any audience, then it’s a bad movie.
The Conclusion
A film, especially in America’s capitalized and optimized Hollywood film system during the 2019-2024 era, most films are either art, or they’re a product. They have to succeed in some way or another. The filmmakers have to be able to inject something or another into their films to make them unique or memorable or special or otherwise stand out. The filmmakers need to have the passion or creativity or ability to craft a film that people will either appreciate or remember.
Further, I have found, as a filmmaker and friend of filmmakers, that creating a movie is personal, taxing, and difficult endeavor, and that it entangles the efforts of dozens, if not hundreds, if not thousands of artists and craftsmen. Insulting a film, upon a whim, means insulting their work, their time, their efforts. That seems insulting and demeaning.
Reviewing a film cannot be a judgement of effort, but a discussion of existence. My future reviews will simply relay the merits and points of interest of a film, any significant failings, and provide you with an objective recommendation based on how much I believe you’d enjoy watching a specific movie, based on an assumption that you were seeking out such a film. Unless it’s like, not worth the effort.
A movie is “good” only so far as it succeeds in almost all, if not all, available metrics.
A movie is “bad” only so far as it fails in almost all, if not all, available metrics.
A movie is “ymmv” in all other cases. Read the review to find out.
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