This review concerns the Joss Whedon led and edited 2017 release of Justice League. I wrote this review shortly after release, and these are my restructured thoughts, edited for readability. Justice League is such an incredible movie, because I am unable to determine if it was bad or not. I can’t figure out if I... Continue Reading →
Tonight I wasted my time by watching a movie called Bloodshot, starring our favorite gravel-voiced, hunky, sexy, big dicked macho muchacho, Vin Diesel. I am unabashedly in the middle of a Diesel marathon, and my blood is pumping and my dick is insecure. I can never measure up to this man, figuratively, literally or cinematically. Let... Continue Reading →
Thank you for reading what I've written, I appreciate that you spent your time with something that I've created. I've come to the realization that I'd like to put a little more effort into the things I do with my reviews, so I'm setting up a writing structure to help organize thoughts. This way, I'm... Continue Reading →
I watched this movie at around midnight while sipping on a beer, and an empty stomach. About an hour at about 1am, I emailed my advisor demanding that she sign me up for a class on stocks, the market and the Bloomberg Terminal. I was hyped. The next morning my stock portfolio dipped some 21%. ... Continue Reading →
This movie is a ton of goofy fun. It’s based on a video game series that revolves around fighting and very gory kill scenes and cheesy catch phrases and it does not give a fuck about you or your grandma. Given that this movie was made to bring the game to a different entertainment medium,... Continue Reading →
Lakshya is an Indian Bollywood movie about a slacker who decides that his life’s objective is serving his country’s safety and security, at the cost of this luxury lifestyle. The main character is played by Bollywood heartthrob Hrithik Roshan, and man does he play this role to perfection. Lakysha is the Hindi word for objective.... Continue Reading →
Ever seen that movie Hitch with Will Smith? Or any other movie about a down on his luck loser who needs to win back the respect of his kids and the love of his life with the help of a womanizing hunk? What about an ensemble movie with love hijinks and misunderstandings and miscommunications... Continue Reading →
LMAO THIS FUCKIN MOVIE. I wanted some kind of coherent action. I wanted entertainment. I wanted a story. Instead I got a clusterfuck of explosions, angry music, bad accents, cliche antagonists and shitty one liners delivered by my favorite potato. People think I’m hard on Vin Diesel. They’d be wrong because I’m actually hard for... Continue Reading →
“The State of the Union is strong!” xXx: State of the Union is the worst movie I’ve seen since the original xXx. And I’m sure you remember my review of that movie. I loved it. I want to say a lot about this movie, but all of it is negative. Don’t watch this movie. There... Continue Reading →
Why is every Vin Diesel movie about Vin Diesel being the most macho dude he can be? If you’re a feminist, a millennial, or someone with standards, don’t waste any time watching this movie. If you’re twelve, really like guns and fast cars and hot girls, yeah, maybe you’d like this movie. If you’re Vin... Continue Reading →
85scenes Reviews 