So I watched this movie at a 50 degree angle from a 10 year old TV with my parents sitting on an uncomfortable cushion. This movie was awesome. It’s definitely a kids’ movie, and if you expect anything different, then shut up and go away. How do we even pronounce 'Ohana The main character little... Continue Reading →
So this review took a while to write, but that’s because I was home with family, and I just didn’t think about the movie I’d watched. Creed 2 wasn’t a bad movie, but it wasn’t mindblowing either. If there’s one thing that Stallone knows how to do with these movies, it’s to make the audience... Continue Reading →
Archive is one of those ‘high concept’ sci fi movies with robots and AI. It draws extremely heavy inspiration from Ex Machina, one of the more successful releases in this subgenre of sci fi. It also has imagery and concepts similar to Netflix’s Mother (which wasn’t very good), the live action Ghost in the Machine... Continue Reading →
Greetings from Frankfurt! Ya boi is publishing his first international review! Also I'm stuck in the airport send help. A Quiet Place Part 2 is so good. John Krasinksi has done it yet again. The film is very, very simple: Be quiet, or the aliens come smack you. Everyone is dead. Boy needs medicine. Girl... Continue Reading →
The last time I cared about a zombie-based media was the final season of Game of Thrones, where the big bad guy gets nerfed by a random little girl hiding in a tree. Before that was The Walking Dead, which is apparently still… on air? Snyder’s Army of the Dead is the first time I... Continue Reading →
Uh. I saw this movie. I can’t think of much to say. Robert Downey Jr. is in it and he’s cool. Good misdirection. I liked the twists, I liked the mind games. I want to say the movie was innovative for when it came out, what with the CGI and whatever. Idk. There’s a scene... Continue Reading →
This movie is so bad it made me think it was made in 2006 and inspired two movies from 2010. It was actually released in 2016, a couple of years in the wrong direction. Entertainment Factor This movie wasn’t scary. Artistic Integrity This film is also not very original or innovative. There’s nothing special about... Continue Reading →
Yeah this movie sucked. Nothing to write home about. How Scary Was It? It was ok. The first sinister dug into my fear of photographs and scary shit coming from them and movies, but this one used the photography thing as a prop, and the big scary thing was the kids. It was stupid and... Continue Reading →
This review concerns the Joss Whedon led and edited 2017 release of Justice League. I wrote this review shortly after release, and these are my restructured thoughts, edited for readability. Justice League is such an incredible movie, because I am unable to determine if it was bad or not. I can’t figure out if I... Continue Reading →
Tonight I wasted my time by watching a movie called Bloodshot, starring our favorite gravel-voiced, hunky, sexy, big dicked macho muchacho, Vin Diesel. I am unabashedly in the middle of a Diesel marathon, and my blood is pumping and my dick is insecure. I can never measure up to this man, figuratively, literally or cinematically. Let... Continue Reading →
85scenes Reviews 