xXx: Return of Xander Cage

Why is every Vin Diesel movie about Vin Diesel being the most macho dude he can be? If you’re a feminist, a millennial, or someone with standards, don’t waste any time watching this movie. If you’re twelve, really like guns and fast cars and hot girls, yeah, maybe you’d like this movie. If you’re Vin... Continue Reading →

Fan4tastic (2015)

Ayo someone fucked with your movie, and now there’s no movie. Beginning. Middle. End. Characters, growth, change, relationships. Humanity, connection, failure. Two hours, two hundred million dollars. Make it happen. That’s the basic formula to any blockbuster ensemble movie from the past ten years. Fan4tastic is only seven years old. Do you know what else was... Continue Reading →

Godzilla vs Kong

    I’m starting to realize why some films are so hard to review and why they take the wind out of my sails as I try to write. Turns out, they don’t have much to talk about. They don’t have any content or function beyond entertainment, and then the question of the review becomes, ‘was... Continue Reading →

Terminator: Dark Fate

     It’s hard to look at the Terminator franchise without talking about the others in the series, and it’s especially hard to talk about the direction of the story without talking about the story of the original. The entire concept is grounded in such a nonlinear fantasy mechanic that it negatively influences nearly any entry... Continue Reading →

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