Y’all remember that movie 2012 that somehow everybody both watched and haven’t watched? Like. It’s constantly playing on the FX channel, sandwiched between a 5pm EST showing of X-Men and an 11pm showing of Fan4tastic? Anyways, this movie is way better than any of the others. Single Take Grandeur So I haven’t seen the movie... Continue Reading →
In the past I’ve harked about mislaid bricks in franchise films, and how poorly laid bricks lead to compounding failure, or the Leaning Tower of Pisa. This movie is the latter. The Suicide Squad is a ridiculous, bloody, meta, hilarious, excellent movie that absolutely deserves a watch. The writing is intelligent, the story is captivating,... Continue Reading →
Agents of SHIELD is one of the best superhero shoes out there. The characters are complex and nuanced, the storylines are believable and engaging, the effects border on acceptable. I get it. The show is cheesy. It’s campy, it’s cringey, it’s lo-fi. I’m not saying it’s the most polished, cinematic, earth shattering piece of media... Continue Reading →
Woof. What happened here? Marvel’s Black Widow is one of the few times I’ve felt that an MCU film was more miss than hit. I really wanted to like it, and there’s a lot to like. But there’s also some key chunks that are missing that really, really annoyed me. It feels like a tragic,... Continue Reading →
I used my twitter feed as a guide to write this review, as I used my friends’ patience as a sounding board for my livestreamed mania as I blundered through The Tomorrow War, furiously screaming into the abyss of the internet, eager for someone's attention - or better yet, validation. Best case scenario, Chris Pratt... Continue Reading →
I hated this movie. It was so forced and plastic and loud. So loud. Boom People worship Cartoon Network. They love crap like Ed Edd and Eddy and Chowder and Flapjack. Look. You’re not wrong for liking what you like and I adore the fact that people my age have a different favorite show than... Continue Reading →
So this review took a while to write, but that’s because I was home with family, and I just didn’t think about the movie I’d watched. Creed 2 wasn’t a bad movie, but it wasn’t mindblowing either. If there’s one thing that Stallone knows how to do with these movies, it’s to make the audience... Continue Reading →
The last time I cared about a zombie-based media was the final season of Game of Thrones, where the big bad guy gets nerfed by a random little girl hiding in a tree. Before that was The Walking Dead, which is apparently still… on air? Snyder’s Army of the Dead is the first time I... Continue Reading →
This review concerns the Joss Whedon led and edited 2017 release of Justice League. I wrote this review shortly after release, and these are my restructured thoughts, edited for readability. Justice League is such an incredible movie, because I am unable to determine if it was bad or not. I can’t figure out if I... Continue Reading →
Tonight I wasted my time by watching a movie called Bloodshot, starring our favorite gravel-voiced, hunky, sexy, big dicked macho muchacho, Vin Diesel. I am unabashedly in the middle of a Diesel marathon, and my blood is pumping and my dick is insecure. I can never measure up to this man, figuratively, literally or cinematically. Let... Continue Reading →
85scenes Reviews 